Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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