shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
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There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
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Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize