He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
