I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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