Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
