Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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