considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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