What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
