almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
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It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
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HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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