Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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