My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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