dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
