Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
