you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize