Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
