She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
