She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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