i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
