im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
