Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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