he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
