Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.