I'm retarded. Again.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself