i would punch a child for taco bell
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..