their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
