that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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