remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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