so that wasnt chicken after all
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
