when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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