My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
