So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
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96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
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don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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