everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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