i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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