I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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