My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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