i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
