those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
