remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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