At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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