i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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