i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
