My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
