you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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