That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
