dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
