New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
