My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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