I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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