i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
