Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
