Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize