she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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