So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
