Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
