Screwed.edu
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
