maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
