Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
