you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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