I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
