Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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